Valentines
A Sermon for the Sixth Sunday after the Epiphany
February 12, 2023
The Rev. Robin Teasley
Jesus said, “You have heard that it was said to those of ancient times, ‘You shall not murder’; and ‘whoever murders shall be liable to judgment.’ But I say to you that if you are angry with a brother or sister, you will be liable to judgment; and if you insult a brother or sister, you will be liable to the council; and if you say, ‘You fool,’ you will be liable to the hell of fire. So when you are offering your gift at the altar, if you remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go; first be reconciled to your brother or sister, and then come and offer your gift. Come to terms quickly with your accuser while you are on the way to court with him, or your accuser may hand you over to the judge, and the judge to the guard, and you will be thrown into prison. Truly I tell you, you will never get out until you have paid the last penny.
“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart. If your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away; it is better for you to lose one of your members than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away; it is better for you to lose one of your members than for your whole body to go into hell.
“It was also said, ‘Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.’ But I say to you that anyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of unchastity, causes her to commit adultery; and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.
“Again, you have heard that it was said to those of ancient times, ‘You shall not swear falsely, but carry out the vows you have made to the Lord.’ But I say to you, Do not swear at all, either by heaven, for it is the throne of God, or by the earth, for it is his footstool, or by Jerusalem, for it is the city of the great King. And do not swear by your head, for you cannot make one hair white or black. Let your word be ‘Yes, Yes’ or ‘No, No’; anything more than this comes from the evil one.” Matthew 5:21-37
Sermon on the Mount, Cosimo Rosselli
Sometimes I like to imagine God as a preschool teacher, or a parent of a house full of children all under age five, and then I imagine that we are God’s children. Children are all about their emotions – the good ones and the harmful ones, and when they are having an emotion, you know about it. The thing about children though, is that they are learning how to manage their emotions, and no matter how ugly things get (and if one child takes away another child’s favorite toy, I assure you things can get ugly), children are resilient and they resolve things with the help of kind and loving adults. With practice, they learn that they are loved and safe and that reconciliation is possible.
When is the last time you had a harmful emotion? Be honest. Maybe it was in the car on the way to church this morning, when another driver annoyed you. Perhaps it was with that family member or friend who holds a different political view. Emotions can surface any time and any place. Wrong desires, such as getting what we want at all costs, are also a kind of emotion. We might think our emotions only affect us, but in truth, small emotions can become large ones and our emotions always have an effect on our relationships with others.
Jesus understood this, and as he continues his Sermon on the Mount, we hear how clearly Jesus communicates that our unhealthy emotions are indeed harmful to us and to our relationships with one another. They can all too easily move into actions that are irreversible. Jesus uses hyperbole to get our attention and to make his point. Lest we think we have a handle on the commandments, Jesus keeps us humble.
Have we been angry, insulted someone, or called someone a name? Have we had even a fleeting thought of adultery? Are any of us divorced? Done any swearing lately? And if any of these do apply to us, the consequences, according to Jesus, are judgment, fire, prison, losing an eye or a hand. Has Jesus gotten your attention? Is there any hope for us? Yes, says Jesus, there is the power of reconciliation. “If you remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go; first be reconciled to your brother or sister, and then come and offer your gift.”
First be reconciled. Isn’t this what parents and teachers do for children; teach them about consequences and encourage them to do what is right? Because there is no moving forward as long as there is anger or envy or any of those other harmful emotions, is there?
Sadly, we are seeing this more and more in our political deliberations, in the violence in our streets, and in family members cut off from one another because they cannot get past the harmful emotions. We are anxious about COVID, and there is an epidemic of contempt for anyone who disagrees with us about anything. Think about where you see these emotions happening in your own life. Jesus has given us some strong examples of ways our emotions can override our better natures, and all we need do is look around to see many more examples.
Life is an ongoing process of learning how to manage our emotions, so that they do not consume us and destroy our relationships with one another. Conflict happens, and avoiding it will not make it disappear, but will only stuff our emotions deep down inside, where they will wait to burst forth in harmful ways later. So how do we manage our emotions and establish mutual respect for one another? Jesus tells us to love our neighbors, love our enemies, care for those on the margins, forgive one another, and be reconciled. Reconciliation is hard work, and we are given unlimited opportunity to practice it. With practice we can learn to forgive others and to speak truth in love, not anger.
Reconciliation, Josefina de Vasconcellos, St. Michael's Cathedral, Coventry
In our Catechism (BCP p 845) the first question asked is “What are we by nature?” and the answer is “We are part of God’s creation, made in the image of God.” And the very next question asks us, “What does it mean to be created in the image of God?” The answer may surprise you. “It means that we are free to make choices: to love, to create, to reason, and to live in harmony with creation and with God.” The catechism goes on to say that we inevitably make wrong choices but there is always help in God, and that God’s love is there to create new life, to transform us into God’s image so that we can then enjoy and care for God’s creation.
The teaching from Jesus today is difficult. He isn’t abolishing the law that Moses received from God, but rather he is pressing us to go deeper as he expands the law, transcends the law. Jesus was not afraid to challenge the current understanding of the law when he saw that it was not serving its intended purpose. Jesus challenges us to do the same, whenever we see the law causing injustice, inequality, and lack of love for God and neighbor. Jesus takes the law to extremes in order to show us that we are utterly helpless to follow the law. Understood this way, the law's chief value isn’t to guide the Christian way of life, but instead to show us just how much we need God’s grace.
So what do you think Jesus is doing here? How many of you consider yourselves to be rule followers? Yes, we rule followers hate it when people butt in line ahead of us, or fudge on their taxes. We always color inside the lines, and we eat dessert last. But if we are honest, we can probably admit that from time to time we mess up, we break a rule here and there. None of us is perfect all the time. And those times when we mess up? Is there anything better than having a friend or loved one forgive us? When they tell us it’s okay and love us despite our faults, that’s pure grace!
It is this same grace and forgiveness and love that God offers to us. Living in this grace, we are called to make choices that lead to life, that is, we are called to reconciliation. The law is really about love and about helping us to create new life as we are transformed into God’s image. When all is said and done, our life in Christ is not about laws or rituals. It’s not about power and control and selfish desire. It is about our relationships and the love and joy they bring to us. It’s about reconciling ourselves with God and with our neighbor so that peace will reign in our hearts and in the world.
We are all beloved children of the God who calls us to choose life, to choose the better way, to be reconciled and forgiven. It is this amazing love of God that makes reconciliation a reality. Valentine’s Day is Tuesday. What if we let someone know they are beloved, what if we show kindness to another and seek forgiveness from those who have been harmed by our emotions? Send some Valentines of patience, kindness, grace, and love.
A message from our neighbors
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